So, I've really tried to better myself lately.
I've taken up dance lessons, gone to more yoga, have added to my vocal repitoire, and have drilled for up coming auditions...but no matter how hard I work, I still seem to always struggle when it comes to the confidence factor.
I have a lot of insecurities about my looks, my talents, and my choices. Like many artists, I constantly beat myself up. That nagging "you could be better" phrase seems to play on an endless loop in my mind.
With this being said, I've recently made an effort to think more positively about myself and embrace who I am. But man, is it a day to day challenge...and some days my progress is really tested. One of these days having been in late August.
My photographer friend, Maike, emailed me earlier in the summer about taking part in a photoshoot-athon. She had just taken a workshop, and was excited to test out her new skills. Sounds cool, right?...well, the workshop had been on boudoir photography...that's right, I said...BOUDOIR!!
Like sexy, little-clothing, lingerie boudoir.
And call me crazy, but I said I'd be interested.
At first the idea sounded thrilling and glamorous. I was treating myself to a photoshoot in a swanky photography loft, with hair and make-up provided.
How fun, right?!
But as the date of the shoot grew closer, I became more and more anxious. What if I was awkward?...or I hated the way I looked? Or the photos made me self-conscience? And to top it off, a week before the shoot I got really sick...the "I feel anything but sexy" type of sickness.
I just kept thinking, what did I sign myself up for?!
But then I reminded myself, that I needed to do this. I needed to do this for me! I needed to test my confidence...and for maybe for once in my life feel comfortable in my own skin.
And guess what...I did it!!
Sure there are photos from the shoot where I don't like the way I look, but there are also a lot that make me feel beautiful and confident.
I'm sharing a few of my favorites below...they are also the more glamourous and less-skin ones.
I encourage everyone to do things that test their confidence...we are all beautiful and talented beings...so live it up!
"The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence." - Blake Lively
Photo Credit: the fabulous M.Rinaye Photography